Monthly Archives: February 2013

Small Voice

Don’t get tired of doing the right thing, your season of abundance is just around the corner and now is the time to give that final push into the next realm. There was a fellow I read about, he was a good man, a kind man, all off his friends knew they could count on good ol’ Roy ! He was the go to guy if you forgot your wallet and needed a few bucks for lunch, an early Saturday ride to the airport, no problem ,just ask Roy ! Well Roy was growing weary of doing right and felt he was being used and abused. He hit his knees and cried out to God, and as he prayed , that little inner voice we all have he heard say , don’t grow tired of doing right. It was shortly after the prayer that a friend called seeking a ride to the airport, the problem being he had to be to the airport by 4am. Good ol’ Roy nearly said no, but he thought about that little voice while he prayed just a short time ago and agreed. The next morning he picked his friend up as they drove to the airport, the friend told Roy he had a business idea and he wanted him to be his partner. Roy was happy as you can imagine but quickly said I just don’t have the money to start this business with you. The man looked at Roy and said ” it’s not about the money ,I have plenty of that what I need is a guy who will get out of bed at four a.m. to take someone to the airport, that my friend, is hard to find!”. Today Roy is a 50% owner of a Fortune 500 company and he will still get out of bed to take someone to the airport and at time it’s to board the jet he now owns. I know that at times we may feel we are being taken advantage of and make no mistake God isn’t asking you to be a doormat. Just learn to hear that small voice, if its good, honorable , positive you can bet it comes from a good place and I’d go so far as to say it comes from God, but you must listen and discern between our wants and Gods will. Learn to tune in to that small inner voice!

Purple Elephants

I’m not feeling so good today I’m fighting a head cold and my head feels like its full of lead but its time to practice what I preach. If you recall I said a positive attitude is not based on feelings. My attitude is based on God who delivered me from the horrors of active addiction ,who has seen me through every trial and is working right now to make my life better. Ill admit it wasnt an easy transition from my former way of thinking, it took lots of work and lots of introspection . At some point I had to admit that yes drugs and alcohol were destroying my life the truth was I had a thinking problem as well. So how do you change your thinking when you’ve been this way all your life? Well I have bad news and good news, you can’t change your thinking and if you think your in control of your thoughts try this, at this moment I don’t want you to think about purple elephants in your refrigerator, put the thought of purple elephants in the refrigerator right out of your mind, got it? Ok what are you thinking about? I’m sure it’s those elephants but here’s the good news God can change your thinking. He’s not afraid to get in there and switch some things around but He’s not a forceful God you must invite him in. Are you willing to look deep inside of yourself to become the new creation in Christ? Or would you rather think about purple elephants in your refrigerator ?

Have A Little Faith

We all struggle from time to time. There are times when it seems that we can’t get anything right, that somehow the stars lined up against us and Murphy’s law is in full effect. It’s not so much as to wether those times will come its how we handle it when they do. I ask myself if I’m a person who as soon as I see trouble starts complaining and whining about the unfairness of it all . I was ,at some point in my life ,but I’ve learned how to take the wind from my troubles sails. I thank God. No I haven’t went over the boards I’ve learned to smile and be grateful in times of life’s storm. I know that it’s after a storm that the most beautiful rainbows are produced. If I view my supposed “failures” as life experience then I remove fear from my endeavors and if I thank God for a lesson learned my “troubles” become my teacher and then I’m equipped to help someone else facing similar life lessons. Don’t get me wrong I’m not Job, there are times when I cry out to God asking for his mercy and guidance. Sometimes He removes the lesson other times He allows me to learn, I usually find that it was a poor decision on my part that led to that current problem. Yes bad things happen to good people and I don’t have the answers as to why. I put that up there with many things I don’t understand. I won’t know all of life’s mysteries till I’m walking in the garden with Jesus. For today ill trust in Him and have a little faith!

The Scruffy Guy

I’d like to start by apologizing for not writing anything on Thursday and Friday . The simple truth is I couldn’t get the words on paper and I think more of my readers then to force something down just to produce. I write from the heart and I believe every word I put down. With that said ,ill never force anything it either flows or I take the day off . On to today’s topic, what does an addict look like, is it the scruffy guy with the hoodie that sleeps in the park near your job? How about the guy in front of your favorite coffee shop who ask for your spare change? The truth is that addiction has probably touched thier lives, but what if I told you the upstanding doctor your going to see is an addict, or that lawyer you hired for your custody case keeps a bottle in his briefcase . My point is there are many addicts that hold these positions as well as other high paying jobs. Addiction comes in many forms, we always think drugs and alcohol but thers sex, food ,porn,video games,Internet and a host of other addictions. We must be very careful at our judgement of the scruffy guy because we are only one compulsion from becoming that guy. Addiction doesn’t care about race, color, creed, social standing, education or any other factor it can take over anyone’s life. Take inventory of yourself, is your spending out of control, are you thinking about sex 24 hours a day. There’s a self help group for you and asking for help is not a weakness but if you leave thes addictions unchecked it will teach you what weakness is. Jesus said we look at a speck in others eyes but don’t see the plank in our own eye. Be careful at what you say could never happen to you and one other thing, buy that guy a cup of coffee, a smile and an 89 cent cup of coffee may save that scruffy guys life. Have a blessed week!

It’s never too late!

So you have a pocketful of excuses as to why you can’t pursue your dreams, you say freddiejay I’m on my third marriage, I’m closer to fifty then to twenty, I don’t have the schooling, I just don’t have the time. All of these are excuses and not very good ones there’s a ton of people who accomplished great things later in life. Let me name a few, Grandma Moses didnt start painting till she was 76, Julia Child was 49 when her first book was published, Harland Sanders started his chicken franchise at 65. That’s the tip of the iceberg , I could list many more. Now you can stand on your excuses and I’m sure someone will agree with you, however don’t expect Freddie to consign that junk ! We talked yesterday about the inability to fail if you look at every pursuit as a learning experience ! What if I told you the keys to happiness are as easy to access as turning on the spigot to get a glass of water? It’s true and I missed it for 37 years, that’s why I’m shouting to everyone who will listen, don’t let life pass you by!! Let me give you one more example of a guy who achieved incredible success later in life. For most of his life he was a drunk and drug addict, in and out of prisons and always straddling the thin line between life and death. He had no friends ,his family gave him the boot, he lived on the street and committed retail theft to pay for his 200 dollar a day heroin habit. He went into treatment in August 2007 where he turned his life over to a power greater then himself , after lots of hard work and self introspection he graduated the drug program. Went to work in a new field and became the shop foreman in less then a year. Started his own business putting roofing and siding on for people who couldn’t always pay. Is currently married to a beautiful blonde and has a three year old who adores his daddy. This guy is currently writing his first book and is considered by his friends and family to be an inspiration. You know that guy is me and I’m not bragging because all my success and happiness is from God! He is the author and finisher of my faith, when I look in the mirror at the crows feet around my eyes and self doubt tries to enter I believe I hear God say ” it’s never to late”

No losers, only experience !

When I decided to write a book I was hit with a ton of self doubt. My inner voice said ” freddiejay, you’re not a writer, how can you write a book, you don’t know the first thing about it”! I’ve admitted many times that I don’t consider myself a writer but I do enjoy writing. I also like airplanes but that doesn’t mean I should try to pilot one without some work ,right? I could of listened to all the negative things pounding in my head ” who do you think you are?” ” who would read what you write?” ” you had a tough life, many have what makes you think you should write this book?” I learned to silence that doubt by realizing that I can’t fail. I can’t fail because there isn’t any failure. If I write this book and it sells millions of copy and they get Brad Pitt to play me in the movie, then that’s a home run with great success. If I write this book and one person picks it up and says to themselves ” if freddiejay can change then I can change!” Then I’ve hit a home run and had great success. If no one reads my book I’ve proven to myself that I can follow my dreams and not just talk about doing things! Then I’ve hit a home run and have great success. The only person who misses out when we don’t follow our heart is us, if you have a dream to accomplish something I implore you to start today because you can’t lose you can only learn from it and gain experience !

Such A Nice Man

I won’t try to convince you I’m a perfect creature , in fact those who read my book will find that for a long time I was quite the opposite of what we consider a nice guy. However I learned how to embrace who I was and accept that I’m a sinner in need of a savior. I’m so glad that Jesus didnt hang around with the so called good people of his time. No he hung with sinners, tax collectors and prostitutes and when questioned he said in essence that he was here for those who needed him. Well that would be all of us but if one believes he’s perfect then Jesus wasnt trying to reach him. No he came to give hope to the lost, to heal the sick but most importantly to die for a sinner like me. I love Jesus but he loved me first and all I have to do is accept a gift he gave me so long ago. I know it’s gonna sound crazy but I think Jesus has a soft spot for alcoholics and addicts, after all it us that need him the most. When I think of what He brought me through and continues to do for me I’m astounded by that level of love. I do love when people say” that freddiejay sure is a nice man” but the truth is I’d be nothing without the love of my savior. Maybe you don’t believe what I believe and that’s cool but I’ve seen the evidence of that which is unseen. It’s right there in the mirror every morning I shave. I see Gods mighty hand everytime someone says ” you’re such a nice man” I owe all that I am to Him.

The Upper Room: preparing for power!

The Upper Room: preparing for power!.

What I Learned About Love

It’s the day after valentines and I wanted to end this weeks writings with love. Love is one of those things I’m constantly learning about. It’s one of my favorite passages in the bible it’s 1Corinthians 13 :1If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.
2If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.
3If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

4Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
5Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
6Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
7Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

8Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. 9We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. 10But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
11When I was an infant at my mother’s breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.
12We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

What I learned in prison

When I went to prison I blamed the police, the courts, the jails, the guards and everyone except the right person, Me! There’s no denying that justice favors rich white people and if you can afford a bad judge , well thats a lot better then a good lawyer! There are crooked cops and dishonest judges. Please don’t get me started on lawyers and the courts biggest joke the public defenders office. To me this is a given, I seen it with my own eyes and to continue there are sadistic guards and heartless parole agents. The system is flawed that’s a fact and if you don’t believe me , how many times did Lindsay Lohan go to court before she seen the inside of a jail cell? Too many to count huh? I had the same problems as her I seen the court room at 15 years of age that same day I was committed to Maryland training school for boys for an indefinite term. Justice isn’t fair or blind but it can be stupid! With that said it was easy to blame others I was a product of my environment and all that but here’s the truth. I broke the law, I used drugs, I carried illegal firearms. No cop planted evidence on me, I made a decision and I was to immature to live with my decisions. Life isn’t always fair but I have learned to look at the part I play! Many people return to prison over and over and I myself was stuck on that roller coaster for fifteen years. The system is designed to bring you back, they lock you in and give you zero responsibility for years on end only to set you free one day and tell you to go get a job,wake on time,and do all the things we taught you not to do! There’s a simple solution , stay out of trouble and if you already have a record accept that you’re not going to get some jobs and there will be people who hold it against you, but for these reasons you must try harder then others to do the next right thing. Life isn’t fair and sometimes it’s nearly impossible to escape your past but if you persevere doors will open, opportunities will come. It starts we accepting some hard truths and taking responsibility for your actions but there is light at the end of the tunnel and its not a train, it’s the love of God! That’s what I learned in prison!

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NZ Fiendishly Fiends Fabricated Withdrawal Fables

Methadone sucks. I jumped off 70mg a day. Illegally purchased from "street" sources, of course. And Sam McBride, addiction "specialist" in Wellington, New Zealand, is a complete knob. Turns out, after years of dealing with people all over the spectrum of addiction and those in the recovery industry white collar jobs, that a lot of others working around him are proving just as mind faltering wrong in their choice of profession. Sadly we, the addicted masses, suffer at their whim. Corporate, capitalistic whim it may be. But whim it is. Even though CAPITALISM ADDICTION could be argued as the worst problematic addiction. It's worse for the planet. Worse for people. Worse for happiness. "QUALITY OF LIFE" is something that needs hammering - it's really the be all and end all. If products or drug regimes increase quality of life for an individual, then WTF? Too bad. The ability to live a life is paramount. Complete abstinence is not for 95% of population long term. I base this on nothing. I made it up. They write they rules, definitely rules to the right. "QUALITY OF LIFE" is a measure of recovery. Quality of life is a measure of happiness. How many BMW's you own and spending two hours a day with your three kids and dog is probably not. I am not thick, yet struggle immensely with an answer to WHY? Why do they seemingly take solace in making your life, their business? Learning from people is a progressive societies best feature. Putting your head in the sand is not the same as bending over and showing them your asshole. "THEY CAN, AND DO, SCREW WITH MY LIFE BY A SINGLE STROKE OF THEIR PEN. THIS IS MY PEN. SUCK IT UP PEOPLE". Those who do not in the least find tank girl adorable will be offended. Punks, young people, tank girl fans will think okay. Spiritual advisor's and anyone with psych' qualifications should not think too hard and simply read the words on the page, without examining the mind behind. BOTTOMS UP.

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