Monthly Archives: April 2013

Happy thoughts

I know some of you will recall the guy on PBS who would paint these amazing pictures, he had a 1970s haircut and as he would put happy little trees on the canvas. Some of us thought he may have smoked lots of ” happy little tree” cause he was always so mellow and happy. Maybe he did smoke something or maybe he just found something that gave him joy. I know I’m not a great writer…….yet. However I love writing and I’m most happy when I’m in front of my “canvas” trying to paint you a picture. When Seyissandradavid or pennypress give me a compliment on my writing I’m filled with joy to be noticed by those talented individuals. When bondingtool or someone says hey freddie your words touched me today, I have a sense of satisfaction like I’ve never had in construction. My point is your thoughts will follow your actions and vice versa, if your doing something that gives you happy feelings, you’ll enjoy doing it and you’ll take time to get better and better. If you’re in a job just for the money I suggest you quit that job, it’s better to live in a tent being happy then it is to live in a mansion full of strife! I signed up yesterday for a writing course and I can’t wait for it to begin. Do what you love and you’ll do it well, even if it takes some practice. Do your job for money alone and you’ll have very few happy thoughts. Happy Tuesday friends.

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We all need someone we can talk to, that friend who understands us and gives us good, constructive advice. If you don’t have a friend like that I suggest you get some new friends. I get phone calls from people all hours of the night, is it because I’m so brilliant and understand all of life’s mysteries? Absolutely not! I’ve found that more often than not the person on the other end of the phone already knows the answer they just want someone to hear them. It’s not a weakness to admit we need others, don’t you think that when Jesus called Lazarus forward he could have spoken the word and the burial clothes would have fallen off? Of course He could have but he told other to go to him and take care of him because He understood the importance of fellowship, He also knows that sometimes man has to touch things for them to be real to him. Our need to be around others who are going in the same direction is paramount. If you are still hanging with old friends who are doing the same old thing how can you hope to experience the new things life has to offer ?You can’t surround yourself with people going backward and expect to go forward ! If you want to break out of the same old routine, take a look around you and see who lines up with your new attitude. Life is short, cut the dead wood and keep growing! Happy Tuesday!!

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Happy Monday ! It’s a brand new week with the chance to start anew, I know you think I’m crazy but I love Mondays ! Lets start this week with one of my favorite topics, happiness. What makes you happy, is it money,love,sex or all of the above? Don’t fault yourself if you think these things give you happiness, that’s just the way we have been programmed. I talk to many different people and I always hear the same things, ” well I’m not happy now but if I could only get this job, then I’d be truly happy” ” if I could only meet the right man/woman then I’d be really happy.” Then there’s my absolute favorite ” if I could just hit the powerball then I’d be eternally happy” I’m here to tell you that’s just not true. Don’t get me wrong I’m not standing on some high ground judging people who feel they need things to be happy I’m speaking from experience , I’ve had the jobs, I’ve had the woman ,I’ve had the money and of course I had lots of drugs but none of them gave me lasting happiness, only fleeting moments of joy or the complete illusion of success. Just the other day I caught myself thinking ” man if I could just get my first book finished and published then I’d be…… What?” Then ill move on to my second book and face the new fears of the sophomore slump or whatever. I need to get up in the morning and say I’m happy today because of my great life now. Today I didn’t wake up in prison or in withdraw or on a park bench and those things alone are cause to be happy. Today I have the joy of seeing my son get ready for school of seeing God at work in my family, the eternal happiness that comes from knowing I’m a child of God loved for who I am, just the way I am. It’s no mistake that I went through so many hardships in life but that which was supposed to kill me God has used to pass along a message of hope! Today I have hope and I’ve been told I can only keep what I have by giving it away but only to those willing to receive it. Happy Monday friends and family, today my hope is that we all find happiness that comes from within, have a good week.

It won’t be long now!!

Happy Friday folks, we made it through another week. I’ve had an interesting week, I found some forums for self publishing and writers. There’s lots of information but its a bit intimidating, I’m afraid to speak sometime for fear that my inexperience will shine through. However I know everyone has thier first day at a new job or at school so I press on. You know the saying the best way to get wet is to dive in!! I’m getting really excited about finishing my book, I’m going to put it on kickstarter.com this weekend to see if I can get some help with funding but more importantly to generate some talk about it. I really hope my book is a success and if I get a letter from one person saying it touched them or helped them or gave them hope then ill consider it a huge success. Not all riches come in the form of dollars and cents , this I have learned the hard way. Yes it would be nice to have the money to write my second book at a nice leisurely pace but we will see, either way I’m not giving up. I will post the link here on Monday for the kickstarter thing I hope those that can help , will. Have a great weekend!

100 Post

Today marks a milestone for me, this is my one hundredth post! Looking back over the things I’ve wrote I guess my central theme has been love! Sometimes I came across wrong, at times my writing was poor and atleast one post is a jumbled mess but overall if I were only known for what I’ve put on here, I’d be ok with that. My intent has always been to spread love, to accentuate the positive and to improve myself. When I told you what you should do, I was talking to me first! This has been and will continue to be a learning experience for me, I’ve found a passion I didnt know existed in the written word. It has made me want to better myself and communicate on a new level, I’ve made new friends and learned many things. I must admit that I like who I am today and that wasnt always the case, in fact in my active addiction I smashed every mirror in my little apartment because I couldn’t stand my own reflection, at one time I prayed for death but God chose to keep me here through several suicide attempts. Life is good and life is beautiful and I’m very happy with my life. It’s not perfect and at times it’s really difficult but I’m glad I have all of you to take this crazy ride with me. Thank you for all the support and please look for my books in the near future! Lets hope the next 100 post are even better then the first!! Peace and love my friends

Setbacks

Today I’m writing to let my loyal readers know I’m pushing my book back by six months!! This book is very important to me and its my first so I’m learning as I go. I thought an editor did the rewrite and fixed the structure and all that but it doesn’t work that way. They tell you what needs to be fixed and then it’s up to you. Also, since I’m self publishing the financial burden rest squarely on my shoulders. I’m hoping that after my book is successful someone like Penguin will come along and drop a big advance on the table for me to write my second book, but until then I must meet the financial obligations alone. I hope I can depend on your support when the book does come out. Thanks for your patience and support it is greatly appreciated. Please look for “A Junkies Nightmare, Coming Clean” in December 2013!

Love Language

So the story goes, a man goes to his spiritual advisor and he says ” teacher, I have tried and tried to understand my wife’s needs but I’m afraid we are headed for divorce!” The teacher listens and replies ” I want you to go home and listen to every word she says and really pay attention for the next two weeks of every word that leaves your wife’s lips! He does as instructed and returns in two weeks ” I listened to every word she said but we are no closer than before.” The man laments. The teacher looks at his pupil and says ” we are only halfway there, you must now go ho home and listen to every word she doesn’t say.”
Take what you will from that story but we really must listen with our ears and with our hearts if we are to have the relationship we always wanted. The truth is that takes work that some of us aren’t willing to put in. All too often,we see someone who we are physically attracted to we have sex and call it love and then when the physical attraction wears off we are in a relationship with someone we don’t like! That’s ok just toss them aside and get a new one! We may not want to face it but I for one have acted with that mentality. Love takes time to grow and manifest, you must nurture and cultivate it to make it bloom! Stop looking for Mr/Mrs Right ! Stop settling for Mr/Mrs right now! Focus on BECOMING Mr/Mrs Right ! Have a great weekend friends!

A Patient Ear

Good morning friends and family ! I have a whole new admiration for writers and daily bloggers! It’s really difficult to write everyday,especially when it’s not your paying job. To write, work and be a dad,husband,brother ,friend and everything to all people is a huge undertaking! However I thank those who think enough of me to read my rantings ;). Today is a beautiful day here in the great northeast and I’m going to get out and enjoy it the best I can. I’m also going to look for opportunities to be in service. The other day I was walking to my local pharmacy and there was an old man sitting on the steps, I wasnt in a very good mood but he looked distressed so I walked past him and into the store, as I came out he was still there so I ask if he was ok? He replied back “not really” I ask if he needed money he sai no, I ask if he needed a ride to the shelter he said no. So I put my bags down and sat on the steps and began a little dialogue . He had been married for fifty-six years and lost his wife to cancer a few days after Christmas , last year. He lived close to me but in a nicer area the houses start at 350k over there,he had two adult children who both had careers and the big house was just to big for him sometimes , the emptiness of it chased him to the steps in front of the pharmacy crying as he told me wonderful stories about his wife’s cooking and how he would love to open that door and smell her famous sour beef simmering! I don’t know how long I sat and listened but time flew by and at the end as we shook hands he gripped my hand and the old fella was surprisingly strong, his eyes welled up with tears and he said ” thank you”. I walked away feeling awesome, sometimes it’s not your money or sympathy someone needs ! It’s for you to listen without judgement and without looking like you’d rather be elsewhere! I sincerely hope to see him again to hear his colorful stories but ill be on the lookout to be in service to God with anyone who needs a helping hand or a patient ear!

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NZ Fiendishly Fiends Fabricated Withdrawal Fables

Methadone sucks. I jumped off 70mg a day. Illegally purchased from "street" sources, of course. And Sam McBride, addiction "specialist" in Wellington, New Zealand, is a complete knob. Turns out, after years of dealing with people all over the spectrum of addiction and those in the recovery industry white collar jobs, that a lot of others working around him are proving just as mind faltering wrong in their choice of profession. Sadly we, the addicted masses, suffer at their whim. Corporate, capitalistic whim it may be. But whim it is. Even though CAPITALISM ADDICTION could be argued as the worst problematic addiction. It's worse for the planet. Worse for people. Worse for happiness. "QUALITY OF LIFE" is something that needs hammering - it's really the be all and end all. If products or drug regimes increase quality of life for an individual, then WTF? Too bad. The ability to live a life is paramount. Complete abstinence is not for 95% of population long term. I base this on nothing. I made it up. They write they rules, definitely rules to the right. "QUALITY OF LIFE" is a measure of recovery. Quality of life is a measure of happiness. How many BMW's you own and spending two hours a day with your three kids and dog is probably not. I am not thick, yet struggle immensely with an answer to WHY? Why do they seemingly take solace in making your life, their business? Learning from people is a progressive societies best feature. Putting your head in the sand is not the same as bending over and showing them your asshole. "THEY CAN, AND DO, SCREW WITH MY LIFE BY A SINGLE STROKE OF THEIR PEN. THIS IS MY PEN. SUCK IT UP PEOPLE". Those who do not in the least find tank girl adorable will be offended. Punks, young people, tank girl fans will think okay. Spiritual advisor's and anyone with psych' qualifications should not think too hard and simply read the words on the page, without examining the mind behind. BOTTOMS UP.

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