Monthly Archives: June 2013

Stop By The Website

Please stop by the website http://www.authorfreddiejay.com and vote on your favorite cover for my upcoming book. I really do appreciate all the support, the interest in the book has been awesome and I’m really hoping it does well. About the cover, I hired two different designers who had very different takes on how the cover should look. I think both are great and really didn’t want the choice of picking one or the other so I’m asking for your help. Voting will remain open for the next couple days so stop by the website and click on vote on the top right corner that will take you to the voting page. Thanks again and ill announce the winner on Monday morning.

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Progress Not Perfection

I hope those of you that read my blog know that I’m not pontificating or pointing fingers at you, these post are about my struggles and what I’ve learned from them. There’s always the hope that around the next corner there’s going to be peace and bliss but its been my experience that just isn’t the case. Around the corner is going to be a new problem, a new issue or something else to come to terms with. It’s really about how we deal with these things and what we have learned along the way that defines who we are. I mean, it’s easy to be happy and generous when everything is coming up aces and we have a pocket full of money but what are you like when the rains set in and your down to your last dollar. I failed the test here recently, I let someone else control my anger. I didn’t lose my temper, I gave away my peace. So what are my next steps, first I forgive them, then I forgive myself, I learn from my mistake and try to do better next time. I’m not perfect and I don’t lead the perfect life. I try to love and protect my family but that just isn’t enough, and I tend to put more on myself then I can handle and then want to blame someone else. Truth is I’m a flawed human just learning from the journey and I’m very glad that God has improved me from yesterday and that He leads me into tomorrow . It’s about progress not perfection

Seven Times Seventy

All too often we wonder why so many troubles follow us but I ask you to search your heart and see if there’s anyone you’re holding a resentment against, is there a boss, coworker or neighbor that you haven’t forgiven? Carrying hatred around is one of the heaviest loads there is, even if its justified. Some of us come from an abusive upbringing or were in an abusive relationship and feel completely justified in carrying a resentment, but refusing to forgive is like taking poison and expecting someone else to get sick. Throughout my addiction and for much of my life I blamed my parents, law enforcement ,former girlfriends and many others for my position in life. Even after cleaning up it took some serious step work to forgive the guy who killed my father. After finally taking responsibility for my own actions and forgiving those who wronged me I felt an incredible weight lifted off of me, a liberation and peace that is unexplainable. My belief in God and his sons sacrifice for the undeserving masses moved my heart in ways that surpass human understanding. So search your heart and really take a look at what’s in there and for my fellow addicts I must remind you to forgive the one person you have been holding a resentment against for years and years. Who is this person? Yourself. Sometimes in forgiving others and in working the steps we forget to forgive ourselves , it is of the utmost importance that we give ourselves a break in order to free ourselves of the chains that would love to keep us in bondage. Search your heart and have a great day!

A Lil Help From My Friends

Please forgive me for not writing much this week but I’ve been really busy trying to get this book out . I’ve said in other post just how much work has went into this book and I want to acknowledge some of the people who have helped me along the way. I really have to tip my hat to Lee Hibberd who helped me build the website http://www.authorfreddiejay.com. He has put hour after hour into building this site, it scares me to think what it would of looked like without him. If you need someone who won’t charge you an arm and a leg to help build your website get in touch with lee at Lee_Hibberd@hotmail.co.uk , he’s a great guy and very affordable! My proofreaders and critics are Ashley Moran and Pam Brukowski-spittel, these two haven’t been afraid to tell me that I needed to work harder and have helped a great deal with the Pre-editing process. There’s many others but I wanted to say thanks to these three people here because they each have been a huge part of getting the book to its current stage. I thank God each and every day for bringing these people to this project, I really couldn’t have done it without them. To Ashley and Pam I say thank you very much , and to my friend Lee I say “No Worries,Mate!”

Omit The Logic

I hate this disease!! I hate what it does to the people afflicted by it and I hate what it does to those who love those people that are afflicted by it! Addiction comes in like a hurricane or tornado destroying everything in its path and those that survive find they have a lot of cleaning up to do. This morning I woke up really early and couldn’t fall back to sleep so I started watching a documentary about Richard Pryor called Omit The Logic. I was deeply moved by the story of his genius and of his battle with addiction. Alcohol and drugs can affect anyone, it has no respect of persons . You can be black, white, rich , poor or anything in between, it’s an insidious disease that effects people from all walks of life and from every corner of the globe. I can picture you shaking your head saying ok freddie, tell us something we don’t know. Well how about this, if your not addicted and you don’t know anyone who is, thats rare but possible, you’re still effected by drugs! I’m not talking about getting your purse snatched by an addict or even having direct contact. If your an employer, I guarantee one of your employees has missed time due to drugs or alcohol use or abuse. If you have bought something in a store the price has been marked up to make up for items stolen by addicts trying to fund their drug of choice. My point is everyone has a stake in this thing so please get involved on some level. If you believe as I do that drugs on a users level should be decriminalized and it should be treated as a health issue, then write your lawmakers and tell them just that. If you believe , as I do , that’s it’s the big bankers that launder millions of dollars a month are the problem and not the kid on the corner selling nicks of weed then tell them that. You have a voice , this is your battle , please join me in the fight against this disease

My Goliath

When I started writing a book I had no idea of the work that went into it. I had one of those self publishing companies tell me how much they believed in my book, I had to remind the fellow that I hadn’t told him what my book was about yet. I had others tell me I was under educated and called my writing poor. I hold no animosity toward these people they made me work harder, maybe my writing was poor so I signed up for a course right away, I’m not a Harvard man but I am from the streets and you can learn things in the street they will never understand at Harvard . I didnt know much but I have learned a lot along the way. I faced my Goliath and my book is now in an editors hands, I will have defeated my foe when one person says I read your book and it helped me. I don’t care if Oprah likes my book, I’m hoping joe the dope fiend can turn his life around after reading my book. So am I boasting ? Not at all. If it werent for Gods grace and mercy I would still be in those streets that I came from or dead. I boast about my God and that I believe I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So what’s your Goliath? Are you facing him or running from him? Do you have faith in God? I want you to stop seeing yourself as a small Shepard boy and start being a conquerer through a higher power. There’s mountains of evidence that those of us who believe in something bigger then themselves have overcome seemingly insurmountable odds. The time to take on your Goliath is not next year or next month or even next week, grab your slingshot and get in the fight today!!

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NZ Fiendishly Fiends Fabricated Withdrawal Fables

Methadone sucks. I jumped off 70mg a day. Illegally purchased from "street" sources, of course. And Sam McBride, addiction "specialist" in Wellington, New Zealand, is a complete knob. Turns out, after years of dealing with people all over the spectrum of addiction and those in the recovery industry white collar jobs, that a lot of others working around him are proving just as mind faltering wrong in their choice of profession. Sadly we, the addicted masses, suffer at their whim. Corporate, capitalistic whim it may be. But whim it is. Even though CAPITALISM ADDICTION could be argued as the worst problematic addiction. It's worse for the planet. Worse for people. Worse for happiness. "QUALITY OF LIFE" is something that needs hammering - it's really the be all and end all. If products or drug regimes increase quality of life for an individual, then WTF? Too bad. The ability to live a life is paramount. Complete abstinence is not for 95% of population long term. I base this on nothing. I made it up. They write they rules, definitely rules to the right. "QUALITY OF LIFE" is a measure of recovery. Quality of life is a measure of happiness. How many BMW's you own and spending two hours a day with your three kids and dog is probably not. I am not thick, yet struggle immensely with an answer to WHY? Why do they seemingly take solace in making your life, their business? Learning from people is a progressive societies best feature. Putting your head in the sand is not the same as bending over and showing them your asshole. "THEY CAN, AND DO, SCREW WITH MY LIFE BY A SINGLE STROKE OF THEIR PEN. THIS IS MY PEN. SUCK IT UP PEOPLE". Those who do not in the least find tank girl adorable will be offended. Punks, young people, tank girl fans will think okay. Spiritual advisor's and anyone with psych' qualifications should not think too hard and simply read the words on the page, without examining the mind behind. BOTTOMS UP.

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