Replacement Therapy pt 2
I’ve found that the best place to start is with the beginning, I mean, I love those movies that start with the ending and then go back to show how they ended up there, but we’re not going to do that with this book. I hope to entertain you along the way but the reality is that this book is intended for informational purposes more so then for a long leisurely read. Lets start by telling you who I am, as you can see I’m Freddie Jay or at least that’s the name I write under, the real one is too long and we in the rooms cherish our anonymity . I had a twenty five year addiction to heroin and an even longer relationship with lots of other drugs. My first drunk was somewhere around 9or 10 years old and while it was completely unintentional , I seemed to like the effects more then I should have. My parents had left me at home by myself, they weren’t great parents to say the least but they really dropped the ball on that day. I had a cold and had stayed home from school, my parents didn’t go to their jobs , my dad was a dope dealer so he worked from home,in a manner of speaking, but they went somewhere. Anyway , being the great parents they were they gave me some NyQuil before leaving to alleviate my cold symptoms . They left and the NyQuil had an immediate effect, I don’t know if you have ever read the back label of NyQuil but that stuff is like 40proof or something. To a kid who already had the disease lying dormant inside of him, I loved the feeling the alcohol gave me. My young addict logic went to work immediately, if one capful made me feel better, well then , certainly five capfuls would make me completely better or atleast I’d feel five times better! So when my parents found me crashed out on the floor a couple of hours later, my father realized I was drunk on NyQuil and had a great laugh.
That didn’t start me on the real thing, that would come when I was like 13 but I will call it my first drunk just because I can clearly see that even then I had an addicted way of thinking. My complete story will be out later this year with my book called ” A Junkie’s Nightmare, Coming Clean”,Look for it in December . However I will tell you some more just to qualify myself. My first joint of marijuana was at 13 years old, I went to see a Ted Nugent concert at the Baltimore Civic Center as it was known back then in 1981, with two older guys from my neighborhood. I smoked weed and drank whiskey for the first time that night, I also met a little rock and roll chick who gave me head while The Motor City Madman belted out Wango Tango. I fell in love that night, not with the rock and roll chick and not even with the weed or whiskey but with the whole lifestyle! Sex,Drugs,Rock&Roll was all I wanted , all I needed and all I would pursue! I took to wearing more black that Johnny Cash and my uniform became jeans and a concert tshirt.
My mother had cancer and my father sold her pain pills, they were powerful pills called dilaudid a brand name of hydromorphone a narcotic of the opioid family. These little pills went for as much as sixty dollars each back in the eighties. The pills could be crushed up and broke down in water making them a favorite for heroin addicts who liked to inject them to get the immediate effect. I found out about the pills and used them with my older brother, again that’s another story but it was my first time injecting drugs and I loved it. I would shoot Dilaudid ,cocaine , methamphetamine (crank) and Heroin before I was twenty years old. Heroin &cocaine commonly called speedballs was my favorite. It would take a few overdoses, five major incarcerations and twenty five years of pure hell before I would finally check into detox in 2007 then go to rehab for six months to start on my road to recovery.
My first year of recovery was glorious but as my second year of being clean got under way I got hit with medical problems as well as bouts of depression. In pain both physically and mentally I would start taking prescription pills at about the time I was celebrating two years I would run out of my pain pills and fully relapse by injecting heroin. For three months I straddled the fence between making meetings and shooting dope! I finally came clean with my sponsor and friends and family. It was then that I’d be introduced to two little words that would cause me to question all I thought I knew about recovery, those two words were Replacement Therapy. This book isn’t a doctors view or anyones opinion other then my own. This is my opinion about the pros and cons of methadone maintenance and my thoughts about replacement therapy and its effects on a person who has dealt with addiction for most of his life. Come along as I share my experience , strength and hope.