Author Archives: freddiejay
Ok friends, family and everyone who landed on this blog, the book I labored for 21/2 years to get out is now available on Amazon in Kindle and in Paperback. You can follow the link from http://www.authorfreddiejay.com – the book is called A Junkie’s Nightmare, Coming Clean , it’s my life story, from my childhood in Baltimore , through my addiction and crime riddled life on to God’s delivery of me from active addiction. I think it’s a good book and so far the feedback has been awesome. If you need a guest blogger just hit me up but please pass my name around and tell people about my book! Many thanks and I hope you enjoy the book!
Happy Friday friends and family, we made it through another week and im a little bit closer to launching my book. The excitement is mounting and my stomach is beginning to flip, I’m a little nervous about putting my life out there for all the world to see, I’m very concerned about failing and a little concerned about success. However i do believe God brought me to this point in my life to do exactly what im doing, ive searched my motives and while i do want success its not my top motivation, no not by a long shot. My true intent is to help someone and i feel pretty good about that. The world has enough takers in it and in my opinion, could use a few more givers! I sincerly hope you buy the book when it comes out but if you know an addict that you think could benefit from my book you need only send me an email and the FreddieJay foundation will cover the cost. To be very honest its going to be up to you as to wether this book is a success, im prepared for any outcome, walking in Gods will leaves me without questions or fears. Have a great weekend.
So the book i wrote over a years time is ready to go, I’m chomping at the bit to put it out but i want to make sure everything is perfect before i release it . Its like being ten years old and waiting for Christmas day to finally arrive, this morning i literally had to talk myself out of not posting it today. I have received a lot of advice along the way but one of the things i hold close is a little statement a friend made off the cuff, i was conveying how badly i want to see my work in print and she said this ” if its good today, it’ll be good tomorrow.” Simple words but they resonated with me, beside I’m never struck by long orations my attention span is much to short. The official announcement is that the book will be out in three weeks and you heard it here first but if you just can’t get enough of Freddie Jay go over to amazon and get my short booklet called The Junkie’s Opinion, Replacement Therapy. Yes i know what you’re thinking, can anyone ever have enough Freddie Jay? That was what you were thinking, right? Thanks folks and please stop by Amazon and http://www.authorfreddiejay.com to see my work , many thanks.
A friend of mine went for a job, not only was he qualified but he had plenty of experience and the perfect attitude for that environment . He spoke clearly and answered every question the interviewer ask him, he came across pleasant and affable. When ask about a gap in his work history he was honest the way we he was told to be, he admitted that back in 05 he went through rehab for problem drinking and hasn’t had a drop since. The interviewer applauded his effort to better himself and thanked him for coming in on such short notice. His interview was at 9:30 at night because they needed someone right away, he walked out of the interview with his head held high because the manager assured him he had the job and the second interview would just be a formality, he was never called back for a second interview ! They hired a guy who had previously held the position and had walked out on them the week before. That’s right, rather then give my friend a chance they hired a guy who was known to be dishonest and who had left them at one of their busiest moments! My friend, after eight years of sobriety wasn’t qualified to wash dishes at a chilis restaurant ! What message does this send to people who try to better themselves ? Those that read me know I try to stick to the positive but if someone won’t help a guy who has eight years clean what chance does the recovering addict have?
Hello folks and happy Monday , I can almost hear the groans, but yes happy Monday . I, for one, think Monday gets a bad rap , I mean, I know it’s the start of the work week and for most people work sucks but Monday is a fresh start and who doesn’t love a fresh start? I think we need to see Monday in a new light, Monday is the day we shrug off any failures or disappointments from the previous week, it’s a brand new week to start on a positive note, on this day we can make a decision to think positive or eat healthy. To actually start an exercise routine like walking or riding a bike. I know there’s plenty of challenges that come with the new week but if we look at them as opportunities instead of barriers we gain a new respect for our fresh start. Yes it’s easy to jump on the band wagon and go along with the crowd slamming Monday for beginning our tormentor but I like to go against the tide at times. I spent years trapped in my addiction, being miserable, getting locked up and going through withdrawal , everyday I’m sober is a Friday by comparison . Somewhere along the way God showed me that it was up to me to either be grateful and live happy or be ungrateful and blame everyone else for my misery. I choose happiness, I choose responsibility for self and I’m able to look in the mirror without wanting to smash it. That, to me, is living in victory and I give God the glory because under my own power I’m a mess, plain and simple. You’re entitled to your belief or your lack thereof but I know what works for me and to choose unhappiness seems crazy but ask yourself what your choice is today. Are you going with the crowd and joining in on negative talk or are you a beacon of light in a sea of darkness?
If you head over to http://www.authorfreddiejay.com you can download a free copy of The Junkie’s Opinion. It’s my take on replacement therapy and the cookie cutter approach to dealing with addiction. My other book, A Junkie’s Nightmare, Coming Clean will be out later this year I’m still learning how to do all this stuff but ill get it. I believe my books will help someone and I’d love to write books full time but ultimately that’s going to be up to you. Sorry today’s blog is so brief but I just wanted to give you a free book and get to work finishing up the millions of details that go into publishing your own stuff. Have a good short week, enjoy my short book and we will talk again soon.
When i finished junkies nightmare I knew I wanted to continue writing but I had to write about things I know and that kind of left astrophysics out of it so I went to what I know best. I know my way around addiction and unfortunately I know my way around a prison cell, they kind of go hand in hand. The things I learned along the way and the things I witnessed could fill many pages but ill stick to the best and the worst for the purposes of this book.I don’t plan to speak from my soapbox, I don’t have a degree in penology , I’m not a cop, lawyer or affiliated with law enforcement in anyway………wait a minute…… That’s the speech I give to hookers, but nevertheless I’m none of those things. However, I have spent a great deal of time in police stations, court rooms ,jails ,prisons, probation , parole offices during my years of active addiction. I’m not exactly proud of this but it does qualify me as one who has an insiders (pardon the pun) knowledge of our system.
Since my first book isn’t out yet ill give you a little background on who I am: I was born in Baltimore in march of a long time ago, my father was a beer drinking, two fisted kind of man, short on parenting skills and patience he raised me in a house where stolen goods and drunken fights as well as dope deals and domestic violence were the norm. My mother was a willing participant in her own misery even before the cancer grabbed her and put her completely at my fathers mercy. He sold her pain pills but made sure she had cheaper substitutes to keep her stoned and docile. Further evidence of their superior child rearing abilities was the fact that I had two older brothers who were doing long prison sentences and a sister who ran away to get married to the first guy who ask her to marry him. Leaving me at home with a father who was a maniacal tyrant and a mother with stoned indifference .
I started smoking weed and drinking very young, popping pills and cocaine would soon follow and before 2007 when I finally got clean i had tried just about everything but mostly I did heroin and cocaine together called speedballs. My oldest brother played a pivotal role in my addiction, I mean not that I wouldn’t of found it anyway but the condensed version of the story goes like this. My oldest brother was home after getting paroled from a murder beef down south. Him and my father had a history and the tension between them was always thick , so my father watched him close but me not so much. My brother ask me to get him some of the pills my father sold, the pills were Dilaudid , a favorite amongst junkies because they could be crushed, mixed with water and injected. I told my brother I’d get him some pills if he would show me how to shoot up. He agreed, he never really liked me and I guess from his point of view he would be benefitting from something I was bound to do anyway. I loved the opiate high immediately but it wouldn’t really get out of control until that same brother walked in my fathers house and put three bullets in my fathers head.
Both my brother and my mother were charged with murder and conspiracy and all that, to get that story check out my book “A Junkie’s Nightmare, Coming Clean. I mention that life changing event here because its where I went from bad to much worse !! Those choices would lead me to many jails and prisons , many emergency room visits, a few institutions and damm near death. It’s the prison stays I want to focus on a bit, isn’t it funny how those two subjects go hand in hand. I dream of a day when addiction is looked at as a social problem and is treated in the medical field, instead of being prosecuted in the criminal field. A day when prison is reserved for dangerous criminals and not for people who suffer with a disease. I’m going to let you know right now, I march to the beat of my own drum and the words in this book are mine, I don’t have an agendas or political aspirations, just lots of opinions.
Its those opinions I intend to share in the following pages about who goes to jail, why they go to jail, what are the core problems and what can we do about it? I don’t think I have all the answers but some
Please don’t get me wrong I’m not one of these people who thinks the guy who killed his whole family and three people who look like them is just misunderstood , no ,lock his ass up and throw away the key. Prisons were built with those kind of individuals in mind, at least I think they were, but along the way our prisons have turned from a place of punitive reflection for the morally deficient and criminally minded to multi- million dollar businesses that .
So I wrote a book and even started a follow up, I’ve followed instruction and taken advice but I’ve found my limitations. Marketing this book is a whole new beast, don’t gather that I’m giving up because nothing could be farther from the truth. No, I’m about to push through my limitation, learn all I can about marketing, do all I can on my own, hire professionals as needed and as funds allow. Along the way ill make mistakes, ill get frustrated and at some point ill say to myself ” I can’t do this” but then ill gather my thoughts and hit my knees to cry out to God and continue on. The book will come out and it will be successful even if it never sells one copy because of the wealth of knowledge I’ve accrued along the way. At some point there will be someone who wants to write a book and ill be able to help them out. When we start looking at things as a learning experience you’ll find that you have less and less failures. I’m Gods success story, it’s through my belief in Him that I have another day free from the shackles of heroin. All the pain, misery, overdoses and prison stays were not in Gods plan for me that was my free will at work but he has taken those negative things and turned them into a positive. I’m able to share my story so others don’t have to go through it. What a glorious day it is when you realize that God can and is using you to help others.
So what is it that ails America ? That’s right folks I’m taking on the big dogs this week, it appears my series on replacement therapy fell flat (I thought it was good) so I must move on! As I see it, and I’m not alone we have lost our sense of community, it’s become dog eat dog and he who has the most toys wins! How many disasters does it take for us to realize our focus is in the wrong direction. As we watch another episode of cribs and talk about ” if only”! If only I had that job, if only I had that car, if only I had that house, then I’d be happy. If things made us happy no rock star would ever kill himself!! So you ask me, do you know the key to happiness mr smarty pants ? my answer is this, I know what makes me happy. I’m at my best when I’m serving others, an altruistic lifestyle is wired into us and nothing can give me more satisfaction then seeing a grateful smile in return for my help. On Sunday we go to church and we call one another sister and brother and we sit next to people of a different color and we nod our head vigorously when the preacher tells us to love one another. We talk to our fellow parishioners and we agree something needs to be done and we ask what would Jesus do? Ill tell ya what folks, I don’t know what Jesus would do but I can bet he wouldn’t walk out of church , go home and beat his kids, cheat on his wife and report to work on Monday morning ready to take over smaller companies, fire people with family problems and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t spend Monday through Saturday separating himself from his fellow man. Now I know not everyone beats their kids or cheats on their spouse I’m just giving a extreme example of bad behavior. My point is we need, I need ,to carry the sense of community and love for my fellow man throughout my week. I don’t know how to change the world but I do know how to change my world! Have a great week my friends!!!